Some Serious Jokes Worth Knowing

Recently i come around a column reporting some serious jokes spoken in Pakistan at different locations and scenerios that seems joke but are damn true, which love to share here for you guys.

"Many times in life, events occur that we enjoy remembering in the years to come. One singer comes to mind who used to sing vulgar songs for stage plays. Someone filed a case against her for recording vulgar songs. The judge asked, "Why do you sing vulgar songs?" She replied, "I don't sing them on my own; I'm forced to at gunpoint." The judge, who was also quite witty, said, "Don't fool us. You can't sing that well under gunpoint."

When I was a child, I once went to the market. My older brother asked a vendor, "How much is the spinach?" The vendor, who was also a young boy, replied, "Six rupees per bunch." Trying to haggle, my brother quickly said, "Is it priced like gold?" The boy responded, "Gold is selling for six rupees a bunch?"

In Pothohar, there's a big joke that men call women of the same age "aunt." The ensuing chaos is something I've witnessed many times on the way to school. Once, among men, an old man called another man his age "uncle." The other ignored it for a while, then started calling him "father" in return. The people around found this extremely amusing.

A similar thing happened to me once. I was with a group in Hunza. The boys were making noise. The group operator walked by and asked, "Did you also make such noise in your youth?" After that, the lights went out.

I recall a drama. The family had an ongoing feud with someone, and the enemy kept attacking. A family member said, "Now only 'Kashif the dog handler' can come and do something." Another attack happened, and another member said, "We need to call Kashif the dog handler." Two young men went to bring Kashif. When he arrived, he had feminine manners and talked with exaggerated hand gestures. They watched in amazement for a while. One then said, "We asked you to bring Kashif the dog handler, and you've brought Shamim the cat lady."

In another situation, a family under attack was waiting for a hired thug to fight for them. When the thug arrived, he had only one arm. The enemies entered the house and hurled insults. The thug didn't move. They asked him why he didn't respond. He lifted his garment and said, "They need to face my patience."

There was a drama called "Qudusi Sahab Ki Bewa." In one scene, a girl sits in front of the prospective groom's mother and sister. The joke was that the same actress, Hina Dilpazeer, played all the characters, including the girl's parents. The groom's mother asked why she came herself and where her parents were. She replied, "They're in the next room dealing with another client." The mother, shocked, asked, "Client? Is there some business going on here?" She said, "Currently, only Gulshan's business is going on." The mother asked, "What's your name?" She replied, "Gulshan."

In Pothohar, there's a famous saying: if a small task costs more than expected, they say the donkey wasn't as expensive as the hay it ate. Pothohar's land records are full of jokes. An eight-year-old boy named Kala Khan, who died at eight, had descendants recorded who continued to claim land shares. Conversely, there are cases of a one-year-old signing documents in English, with signatures so impressive, it seemed like a civil service officer had signed.

Recently, I saw a Facebook post relevant to everyone in Pothohar. An old man, with a turban and twirling his mustache, said, "We sold land so well that generations sat and cried." Showing this picture to anyone in Pothohar would make them laugh and cry simultaneously.

The biggest joke is that a liberal rationalist Pakistani in America claims that Prophet Abraham was a fictional character. He also says he's had his DNA tested and is a true Syed (descendant of the Prophet). If Abraham were fictional, there would be no Syeds left. This contradiction is so laughable: he believes Abraham is fictional but insists he's a true Syed. SubhanAllah (Glory be to God)!"

I hope you enjoyed it but remember it's essence.